


Drunk

by ultimateslothiraptor



Series: Danganronpa One Shots [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, alcohol (obviously), miu is the ultimate thot, we love her tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimateslothiraptor/pseuds/ultimateslothiraptor
Summary: Miu texts Shuichi in a compromising moment, and he comes to help her.
Relationships: Iruma Miu/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Danganronpa One Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920913
Comments: 1
Kudos: 56





	Drunk

Shuichi Saihara didn't have too many friends. He tended to stick to Kaede, Maki, and Kaito, rarely straying outside that circle. But when he got a text from Miu Iruma saying _hlsxxp ples_ , he couldn't help feeling concerned enough to come to her dorm room and see what was going on.

The first thing he saw when he opened the door was beer cans, all over the floor. He didn't know how she'd gotten her hands on them – the school was supposed to have a zero-tolerance policy about this kind of thing – but they were there, and they were empty, at least ten of them. And slouched against a wall, Miu, completely trashed.

"Oh, Miu..." Shuichi stepped inside, almost stepping on a bizarre invention that looked like a vibrator and a microwave were first cousins who had a child. He didn't ask. Instead, he stepped around the cluttered mess on her floor to get to Miu herself.

She stirred slightly when she noticed him come in. "Hey, Pooichi," she slurred. "What are you doing here, huh? Come to beg me for more of my genius inventions again? You know how much that gets me going, don't you, you big slut?" She hiccupped. "Oh yeah, I called you here because..." She cut off midsentence, staring off into space.

Shuichi shook his head. "Oh, Miu," he said again, "how did you even get all this? I'm kind of impressed, actually."

Miu cackled, then hiccupped again. "Just my golden brain at work. All it took was doing the fuck with the himbo delivery boy that brings in the stuff for the cafeteria and he slips me a few cold ones every week."

Shuichi stared. "You're joking." Even that was a little too far for Miu, and he knew exactly what she was capable of.

Some fear came into Miu's eyes. "Eek! Don't look at me like I'm some big slut! Y-you're the big slut, you big slut!" Tears started flowing down her face. "Oooh, I'm sorry! Just stop looking at me like I'm some filthy whore, please..."

"Okay, that's enough." Shuichi grabbed her by the arm and hoisted her up into her bed. "Are you really putting out for free beer?"

Her eyes started to glaze over. "Eh, who cares? This pussy is max quality even without virginity."

Then Shuichi did something he'd never imagined he'd end up doing. He hit a girl.

"Oww!" Miu recoiled, putting a hand over her cheek where Shuichi had slapped her. "H-hey, what was that for?"

Maybe Shuichi should've felt pity or disappointment in that moment. Instead, all he felt was anger. "I know you're too drunk to comprehend this right now, but that's not okay! You're not a slut. You're more than some sexual object you can use to get illegal alcohol. You're a good person, and you shouldn't be doing this to yourself." Almost on instinct he pulled out his notebook. "What's this delivery kid's name so I can report him to the headmaster?"

The terror on Miu's face turned into ecstasy. She started laughing and didn't stop. "Oh, man, I really pulled one over on ya, Pooichi! You're such a dumbass."

Shuichi stared at her, then sighed in relief. "Good. I couldn't live with myself if I knew my classmate was prostituting herself and didn't do anything about it."

Miu's laughter subsided, and her eyes closed. "Oh, man, that was good. But seriously... you're not gonna report me to the headmaster, right? For having the beer. I'm too hot to go to jail!"

Another sigh from Shuichi, this one deep and regretful. "I won't turn you in. Not this time. But Miu... you've got to get it together. If you keep drinking like this, there's no way you're going to turn out okay."

Then Miu smiled, a warm, tender smile she'd never known from him, and squeezed his hand. "Even if you're a total bottom you're a good dude, Pooichi. You remember the first day of school, when I called everyone in the class dumb whores and that purple little shit called me a cum dumpster?"

 _How could I forget?_ Shuichi thought, and nodded.

"You stood up for me. I mean I was fine – the whole thing was super hot – but you were the only one who cared enough to say something. You didn't even _know_ me, you still barely know me, and now you're protecting me for no reason. I appreciate you, you submissive little bitch."

That last part stung a little, but Shuichi was genuinely touched. This was absolutely not like Miu, and he could tell she was sincere... even if she was drunk out of her mind. "Thank you, Miu."

When she didn't respond he looked down to see she was fast asleep. Feeling awkward, he pulled her blanket over her, feeling exhausted. _It's like dealing with a five year old – well, if that five year old was super horny._ Still, he felt good. He was glad he was able to help.

"I'll keep watching you," he said to Miu's sleeping body. Then he realized how creepy that sounded and looked out the window to make sure nobody was close enough to hear. "I mean, not in a weird way. But if you ever get into trouble again... I'll make sure you're okay. I hope that's alright."  
He walked out of the room, took one last glance behind him, and closed the door.

The next morning, Shuichi decided to pass by Miu's room, just to make sure she was okay. It was the only decent thing to do, really, after what had happened last night. He'd expected her to be a little out of sorts. He had not expected her to come stumbling out of her room like even more of a mess than she had been last night. "Hey," Shuichi said, startled, but before he could say anything else, she was falling into his chest.

"Ooh..." she moaned. "Pooichi, what _happened_ last night?"  
"Um..." Shuichi didn't know how to answer that. "Well... you got really drunk and passed out."

"Oh yeah." She giggled. "And I think I said a bunch of super sappy shit, too. So lame. Must've been totally pissed, huh?"

Even as she spoke, a blush crept over her face. Shuichi recognized what she was feeling immediately. She was embarrassed. She'd meant what she said last night, but since it was so unlike her she was trying to save face by playing it off as a joke. He smiled. He somewhat understood what that felt like. He definitely understood trying to laugh off embarrassment. "Yeah," he agreed. "Must've been."

Then he realized how close they were standing and went completely red.

Miu looked up at his face and laughed. "You getting a hard-on from me pressing my face into your man boobs? I wouldn't do that for just anyone, you know, so you better do some serious groveling to pay me back!" Despite the lewd things she was saying, her embarrassment seemed to be gone, and she didn't move her head. She looked calmer than Shuichi had ever seen her, and maybe that was what prompted what he did next. He slowly moved his arm down and put his hand on her head.

She gasped. "Pooichi, are you coming on to me? Ha! Like you could ever measure up to my standards!" Despite that, she still didn't move. She seemed comfortable.

So Shuichi stayed there, standing like that for minutes on end. It felt oddly like having a cat fall asleep on your lap. You could easily move if you wanted to, but you didn't want to disturb her, so you didn't. It was a little awkward... but comfortable, too.

After a little while, Miu spoke up. "You know, I've never actually kissed anyone before."

Shuichi, who had been starting to fall asleep standing up, jerked awake, startling her. "Wait, seriously? But you're always..."

Miu looked nervous, but not panicky. Just calm and shy, something he'd never seen from her before. "S-so... I was wondering if you would wanna..."

"Woah!" Shuichi pulled Miu away from him, his heart rate quickly accelerating. "Why? It's not like we know each other that well."

"Y-yeah, well..." Miu seemed to be losing confidence by the second. "You're always so nice to me even though I treat you like crap. I mean you're such a bottom you probably love it when I piss all over you, but still. You keep trying to help me even though I never asked for it, and... I guess you're boyfriend material."

Shuichi looked into her eyes, and he saw something he had never seen in Miu before. Depth. Humanity. Real emotion, not the overblown insanity that was her typical personality. He saw her for who she really was – scared and shy, overcompensating in every way possible. And he saw how much she needed him.

He had never had a girlfriend before, didn't have any experience with romance. But he thought he knew what he was doing when he leaned in and kissed her.

Compared to Miu, his technique was absolute garbage. Her lips moved around his, correcting every poor move he made, turning something painfully awkward into something magical.

When they finally broke away, they said nothing, just stared into each other's eyes. Finally, Shuichi broke the silence. "How... how are you so good at that?"

She smirked. "What, you never heard of body pillows? I've been making out with those fuckers for years."

Shuichi laughed. "I'd expect nothing less from you, Miu."

They stood there for a little while longer, just looking at each other, understanding each other without any words needing to be exchanged. Then their fingers interlocked, and, holding hands, they walked down the hall, away from Miu's problems and Shuichi's insecurities, and into the future. Together.


End file.
